3 Critical Digital Wellness Habits for College Freshmen
As parents we spend much of the 18 years that we have our kids under our roof preparing them to be independent enough to live away from home. These days, that includes teaching teens how to manage their life online and helping them to make wise choices as digital citizens.
It’s true that once they leave for college, what they do with their technology is out of our hands. But, that doesn’t mean that we can’t prepare them to make healthy choices once no one is there to oversee them. Don’t forget, that prefrontal cortex isn’t done developing until age 25! So while they may seem all grown up, they are in fact still developing and therefore more susceptible to the magnetic pull of the online world.
While smartphone and tech overuse can have various negative outcomes, the 3 potential impacts of technology that I believe are most critical for young adults to consider are:
What effect will tech in college have on sleep (knowing that sleep deprivation is associated with higher rates of anxiety and depression)?
What effect will tech overuse have on the college student’s ability to connect and cultivate strong bonds with new people?
How will tech overuse affect procrastination and academic performance?
Considering these questions in advance can really help our children to be more mindful once they arrive at school. Let’s look at some of what you’ll want to discuss with your rising college freshman:
Issue: How To Create Healthy Physical Boundaries with Tech
Lack of physical boundaries from our devices in our home base environment - talk about dorm rooms and how to create an environment that is conducive to sleep as well as focus. Sleep deprivation is at epidemic proportions in teens and young adults leading to higher rates of anxiety, depression, accidents and stress.
Solutions:
Learning to use Do Not Disturb or Sleep setting on phone
Buying either an ‘unplug box’ or Bagby to store the phone overnight while it charges
Buying an alarm clock
Issue: Tech Distraction, Procrastination and Academics
Overwhelming amounts of digital distraction can lead to procrastination, difficulty focusing in class and prevent our young adults from attaining their academic goals.
Solutions:
Turn off (or batch) all non essential notifications on phones and laptops- including email
Put your phone on silent mode
Set daily time limits for your most distracting apps
Consider removing all social media from the phone and only check on computer
During class or while doing homework use a distraction blocking extension like Freedom or Self Control
Keep phones out of your pockets and on Do Not Disturb mode during class
Issue: Video Games in the Dorm Room = Procrastination+ Avoidance
College kids love to play video games, and if your child does too they will likely have no trouble finding friends and a place to play them. But, if your child struggles with staying on track academically, has social anxieties, ADHD or simply has trouble walking away from video games, then chances are this will only get exacerbated when they are off on their own with no oversight. Not to be overlooked is the connection that video games offer to their old friends. While this may be a positive in some respects, it can also hinder them from putting themselves out there and meeting new people.Whether or not to allow them to take the gaming console may be a difficult negotiation. It is worth a serious conversation where you sit down and look at the potential benefits vs. costs of taking that console with them.
Solution:
Consider leaving the gaming console at home to start and then re-evaluate over Winter Break
Issue: Difficulty Forging New Strong Bonds and Connecting Face to Face (eg. loneliness)
Many students have trouble making friends when they first start college, but these days with so many people reliant on social media and dating apps to “connect” the feeling of isolation and loneliness seems to be greater for young adults than ever before. Before your child leaves for college sit together and talk about what it is they are looking for socially out of their college experience:
Do they have specific social goals for their first year?
What are some ways that they might imagine meeting people and forging deep connections?
Then have them consider how their digital habits may either help further these goals or be detrimental to them. How will they recognize if their digital health is waning? Or if tech is preventing them from getting out there and making IRL connections. What would be some signs? What steps can they take?
Before I sign off I need to take a moment to address our own behavior as empty nesters. How might we, as parents, be tethered to our children through phones? I’ve heard from many parents that they speak to -or text with- their kids every day - even while they are away at college. Of course it’s hard to separate, but college should be a time of letting go and allowing some space. We don’t want our constant presence to interfere with our child’s ability to navigate situations on their own and forge true autonomy.
Perhaps coming up with a weekly check in day, or setting certain parameters in advance can help to set the stage for both child and parent to feel confident that they are still connected while allowing for much needed independence.