The Social Media Pressure No One Talks About: Student Athletes
By now we’ve heard plenty about how social media affects kids' mental health. But there's one group navigating a particularly high-stakes version of this challenge that rarely gets its own conversation: the student athlete.
Getting Noticed
For many families with student athletes, the stakes feel enormous. Being noticed and appreciated by the right college coaches could mean a fully funded scholarship to a great school. On top of that, there are other financial opportunities that didn’t exist a generation ago. College athletes can earn real money through sponsorship deals, brand partnerships, and paid appearances. As a result, the competition to get noticed starts younger than ever, and social media highlight reels have become the primary arena where that competition plays out.
The Cost on Mental Health
But the highlight reel culture that drives most of this posting creates a quiet, compounding problem. When every athlete only shares their best moments ( the wins, the incredible plays, the flawless performances) it starts to paint a distorted picture of what competitive sports actually looks like and where a young athlete should be putting their focus. The result is an impossible standard that can create a constant undercurrent of anxiety: Am I good enough? Why isn't my progress looking like that?
And then there's a pressure that runs in the other direction too. As a close family friend’s son explained to me the other day, once a kid has built a following and established a highlight reel persona, they now have a reputation to protect. The fear of not living up to the hype they've helped create can be genuinely paralyzing. Every game becomes about getting a great highlight, rather than playing their overall best and being a good team mate. And after the game - the overwhelm of the comments section.
The Performance Impact
There's also a direct performance cost to spending time on social media as a serious athlete. Research on professional soccer players found that using a smartphone for as little as 30 minutes before a game measurably impaired decision-making on the field. One parent I spoke with notices this firsthand: his son, a highly regarded high school basketball player, performs noticeably better the longer he stays off his phone before a game. "You can't visualize your performance if you're spending your attention on your phone," he told me. His son, who I also spoke to concurs. He can feel the difference in his ability to focus and “lock in” during the game.
So what can parents actually do?
Pre-teen
Elementary school aged kids have no business being on social media. They are still developing foundational skills and confidence as athletes, and putting them in the public spotlight at that age does more harm than good. Even the most exceptional young players benefit far more from just playing, learning, and enjoying the game than from building an online presence.
For athletes who have serious college aspirations, 13 or 14 is a reasonable age to begin establishing a presence, but with parents firmly in charge of the account and building it together with their child. Make sure your athlete knows what's being posted and why. Show them as a full person: training sessions, academic achievements, the dedication behind the results. While coaches and recruiters don’t rely on social media for their decision making, it does make an impression in terms of understanding a young athlete’s character.
High School
In high school, the dynamic shifts. Kids ought to have more ownership over their presence, but that doesn't mean less guidance.
Talk openly with your teenager about what they're seeing and feeling when they scroll.
Help them recognize that what they're comparing themselves to is a curated highlight reel, not a full picture of anyone's experience.
Establish clear phone-free windows before games and competitions, framing it not as a punishment but as a performance tool.
Keep the conversation going: the anxiety around posting, checking, and comparing tends to creep in quietly.
Perhaps most importantly parents and coaches can a young athlete build their confidence away from the screen.
Set real goals together
Celebrate growth, not just wins
Remind them why they started playing in the first place (not for attention, but for the love of the game)
When a kid has a strong internal sense of their own progress and value, they're far less vulnerable to the comparison trap.
How Coaches Can Help
Finally, coaches are important role models in their athletes' lives and have a real opportunity to mentor their players around healthy digital habits. Understanding the pressure to post, the sting of public criticism, and the distraction of compulsive checking gives coaches context and empathy for what their players are managing. Conversations about healthy social media habits and creating phone-free norms around practice and competition can have a real positive impact.
Last Thoughts
Social media for serious student athletes is a balancing act. With mentorship and mindfulness kids can learn how to interact with social media in a way that is additive rather than subtractive. The goal isn't to keep kids off social media entirely - it's to make sure they maintain agency and know that their sense of worth as an athlete comes from the inside, not from likes.